Friday, October 12, 2012

Scene 88: Automated Auto

PAZ:  Alright. We need to get to work fast..

BUT: But we don't even have a case yet, we didn't even do the backstory bit.

PAZ: Yeah, well, I guess the company got hold of a commercial kitchen for a day, and we're going to do the dining car scene.

BUT: The dining car scene? There's no dining- - There's no train in this episode.

PAZ: Well, a restaurant scene then, I dunno. C'mon, here's my new wheels. (thunking door handle of a door not opening.).

BUT: What restaurant scene? Which revision do you have now? Did you miss re-write this morning.

PAZ: Zuzu, please unlock the doors. How was I supposed to know there was a meeting this morning.
BUT: There's a meeting every..

PAZ: (louder) Zuzu, unlock the doors.

BUT: Zuzu?

PAZ: Haven't you ever seen a Bogey movie?

ZUZ: Please setup user name and password.

PAZ: Oh, for the love of Mike. Not this again.

ZUZ: Oh, for the love of Mike. Please select for password.

PAZ: What?

ZUZ: Password set: What?

PAZ: What?

ZUZ: System locked.

PAZ: Unlock the doors.

ZUZ: I'm sorry For the love of Mike Not this again, please use command protocol.

PAZ: Zuzu, unlock the doors. (doors unlock)

ZUZ: Good morning For the love of Mike not this again, the weather is fair to partly cloudy. The temperature is 72 degrees.

PAZ: Get in Butto. And don't touch anything. Zuzu, start engines.

ZUZ: Engine. There is only one engine FortheloveofMikenothisagain.

BUT: What? The car corrects you?

PAZ: It's supposed to be like grammar and spell check. teach you how to talk right.

ZUZ: Speak well, FortheloveofMikenotthisagain. The correct phrase is not "talk right".

(SFX: Car starts, driveway, driving, traffic, etc.)

PAZ: Zuzu, music, please. Play music, Garden Variety Gnomes, track one.

ZUZ: I'm sorry, FortheloveofMikenotthisagain, I did not understand your command. Please try phrasing in the form of a question.

PAZ: Zuzu, would you play Garden Variety Gnomes track one?

ZUZ: I would not. That song blows.

PAZ: Excuse me?

ZUZ: I'm sorry Fortheloveof Mikenotthisagain, I did not understand your query. Please rephrase the question in English.

BUT: Isn't that your turn coming up on the..

ZUZ: Right turn in two-tenths mile.

BUT: ...on the right. Shouldn't you be moving..

ZUZ: Move to right lane when able to do so.

PAZ: I'm going over Dillihandy.

BUT: You don't want that it's full of..

ZUZ: Construction on Dillihandy. Traffic is slow, traffic is stop and go. Seek alternate route. Move to right lane when able to do so.

BUT: So have you rehearsed the restaurant scene yet? Did I miss something.

PAZ: Rehearse? All we have to do is eat.

ZUZ: Move right soon, or you will miss your. You are moving left. Move right. Move right.

PAZ: Shut up Zuzu, I'm going downtown..

ZUZ: Windows up. (SFX: WINDOWS)

PAZ: It's too hot for that, Zuzu, lower the..

ZUZ: Heat on two. You have missed your turn. Travel to destination will take approximately eighteen minutes longer now.

PAZ: Thanks, turn off the heat, it's getting hot in here.

ZUZ: Heat on, rear. Travel time to destination eighteen minutes longer than the route I picked.
PAZ: What?

BUT: You know there's usually no real food when we tape a restaurant scene..

PAZ: Did the car just snipe at me? Oh, yeah. The wax food. Let's wheel by Mom Mocady's on the way for some burritos and souvlaki. Zuzu: plot a course for Mom Mocady's.

ZUZ: I'm sorry Fortheloveof Mikenotthisagain, I did not understand your command. Please rephrase in the form of a que-que-que-que-que-que-que please - love - mike- understand - query- please check your battery.

PAZ: Hey, the turn signals stopped working.

BUT: You're going right past

ZUZ: You are passing Mom Mocady's. Make a u-turn when  you u u u u u u uu uu  uuuu uu reset user name

PAZ: Sunnuva.. I knew this would...

ZUZ: SunnavaIknewthiswould accepted. Please set password. Enter old password.

PAZ: Well, if I already have an old password, why do I.

BUT: You passed Mom's again. What are you doing?

ZUZ: Please enter access code. Windows up. Heat on. Engine off. Systems off. (SFX: noise winds down to silence, BG: traffic noise)

PAZ: So, here we are.

BUT: Here we are? We're stopped right in the lane!

PAZ: Never mind that. We need to make tracks or we'll miss the breakfast special.

BUT: Don't you wonder how we get any investigating done?

PAZ: Wonder? Whadya mean?

BUT: What do you mean What do I mean? It's a pretty straightforward cogitation.

PAZ: Well, we're working now, for instance.

BUT: Walking to the taco stand is working?

PAZ: You know we must be fed. Besides, it's time for the commercial.

BUT: Commercial! Yes! Money money money!

The Adventures of Mr.Pazlo are brought to you by Latimer Latex Corporation, makers of Latimer Latex.
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