9/26/12
A piece of studio equipment acts up through the whole show. Turns on noise or SFX, or won't turn some mics on sometimes. (Two actors share a mic "Stop spitting on me." "Say it, don't spray it." "You've spit cracker crumbs on my sweater") Mic cuts out when someone mentions "Methu
Paz talks about the rental company "Say Yes Today!" First, everyone says "YES!". Later, every time he refers to "Say Yes Today", everyone says "Yesterday!". Usual confusion and explanations ensue.
Characters argue over homophones that are different between the scripts, and as they read, the spelling makes no difference.
"Their bringing him in."
"You mean "they're" bringing him in."
"That's what I just said. What Rev do you have, see: 'Their bringing him in.'"
"But that's not right. That's possesive."
"I beg your pardon!"
"'Their' is possesive. You mean 'they're'. Contraction."
"Contractions? I didn't even know she was pregnant."
They have a navigation system in the car that talks and gives directions. Eventually it disagrees with Paz and thinks another route would be better. They get into traffic and "she" starts nagging about how they should have gone the other way. Escalate into a full blown fight, insulting each other "Shut up! You nag!", "You never listen to me!", maybe "she" pouts afterwards and they can't get home because "she's" not speaking to Paz, or Paz isn't speaking to "her" and she responds to no one else's voice (except Butto's, when convenient: i.e.: "press the red button")
Running gag: Lines are missing, confusion, comparisons reveal they're all working off different revisions of the script (Rev2.1, Rev3.5, Rev18, etc.) One copy has most of Blind's lines whited out through a whole scene, Paz was trying to get rid of him. (Later someone asks why we spent Forty-six dollars on white-out.)
Long gag: The usual arguments ensue regarding union seniority, star power, pay, dressing rooms, studio conditions, sound effects, perks etc. Paz, as always, thinks he's the number one reason the show exists. At the apex it's revealed that Butto and "silent partners" bought out the studio owners, Butto is now the CEO of GWP.
Running gag: "Can I ask you a question?". "You just did."
The car (Zuzu) becomes another character in the show: maybe actually solves the case.
Everyone's cell phones go off during production. One by one they answer the phones until everyone is on a cell phone conversation, nothing gets done, and nothing can be understood.
The automated car ends up with "What?" for a security code. Every time a character says "What?", the car locks the doors, announcing so.
Scene gag: two characters begin addressing each other by physical attributes ("Look here, baldy." "Well, Mr.Silk-shirt..", "Okay, four-eyes..", "Hey, shorty,...") Eventually they run out of the obvious and start stretching the concept. (e.g.: "Now wait a minute Mr. Dirty sneakers..." , "You asked for it, Mr.Brown Tweed jacket with bow tie and funny haircut...")
So the whole thing with Blinds is that he's ad libbing?
ReplyDeleteThe idea of arguing with the GPS is classic, and she should be a shrew
"I told you to turn left back there, why don't you ever listen to me?
You think you know everything!
You've been driving around the same traffic circle for an hour!
What's the matter with me? What's the matter with you?
Etc., etc.
I'm thinking working up to it. Hints as the show progresses. It's all voice command, and Paz says "Zuzu, (like Sari on iPhone)lower the windows." and she says "It's a bit chilly outside." (echoing her greeting "Good morning Mr.Pazlo. You have no scheduled events today. It's a bit chilly outside, and there's a slight chance of rain."
DeleteHer voice is text-to-speech, y'know, wher they don't get inflection and commas are interprative. Maybe gat a speech-to-text program and actually play the lines on the computer so "she" reads them in computerese.
The bit with "you're spitting cracker crumbs on me"
DeleteWhoever's eating the crackers makes unintelligible replies because his mouth is full.
"What are you saying?!"
"MMmmph mumble mumble mmph"
Etc.
I've moved into my new home
DeleteIsn't it a trailer?
No, it's a manufactured housing unit.
A trailer. Is it in a nice neighborhood?
It's in a manufactured housing community
You mean a trailer park
Manufactured Housing Community!
Are there bits you can salvage from the "India" story line that we can work with?
ReplyDeleteI don't think either one of us could do a sustained Indian accent for huge periods of time, but we might be able to work with some of the ideas.
I believe the disjointed and 1/2-written script has been lost. Not a lot of conceptual, natch, but I did sketch out an actual plot with a reason for an apex and culmination to guide the writing a little.
DeleteThis guy Azmahk Mahatlan engages Pizlo & Biteo Investigations in Singapore (names changed to avoid Fastercard and Rent-A-Center people).
Azmahk is trying to recover a "Golden Orb" which is very valuable (gold & jewels, etc.), but is also a sacred artifact stolen from his house of worship.
Figured they'd have an adventure through China or Tibet or Timbuctu or something and eventually find their nemesis Dr. What's-his-name...like Moriarity(?)
well, Dr.Mediocrity or whatever is behind the thievery.
While Paz & But chit chat in the car, the GPS is screwing with them
ReplyDeleteGPS: In point two miles turn left.
In point two miles turn right
When possible, make a u-turn
In point two miles turn left
Make another left
in point two miles turn right
Put your right foot in
Take your right foot out
You do the hokey-pokey and shake it all about.
Luvit
DeleteBecause she's arguing with Pazlo, she goes all HAL (ala 2001 A Space Odyssey) on them and locks the doors, won't let them out.
ReplyDeleteBUT: Fer cryin' out loud, just apologise to her!
PAZ: She started it!
GPS: Here is some music for your listening pleasure. (plays Lawrence Welk type muzak)
BUT: I'm beggin' ya, just tell her you're sorry!
PAZ: Oh all right. I'm sorry.
GPS: That's better, perhaps next time you will be more considerate of my feeling.
PAZ: Feelings? You're a machine, you don't...Oh crap, she's locked the doors again!
TWO HOURS LATER
Luvit more. By jove, you've got it.
DeleteWas Blinds the Rainy Day Bomber?
ReplyDeleteDid we ever find out?
It just seemed like it to me.
I think he was. I also think he was killed in that first episode (Episode 2). He may have been subsequently killed more than once.
DeleteOMG They've killed Blinds! you bastards!
DeleteFraidy cat
ReplyDeleteScaredy cat
I know you are but what am I
You're rubber & I'm glue what ever you say bounces off me & sticks to you
Nyah Nyah, Nyah Nyah Nyah!
ReplyDeleteI'll kill you Blinds!
You'll never catch me Pazlo!
Butto's got the window covered this time
(Door opens/slams shut )
The door!
During the scene where Pazlo has whited-out Blinds, Paz claims we don't need Blinds and he can do both parts. Followed, of course, by a terrible exaggerated Blinds imitation while Paz reads the wrong lines from two different revisions.
DeleteRight, all it becomes is a series of disjointed tag lines like Offices, see! Nuts to you, don't flush too fast!
DeleteSounds great!
GPS:In 400 feet make a right turn
ReplyDeletePAZ: That'll take us downtown, don't we want the south ramp?
BUT: Same distance either way isn't it?
GPS: In 200 feet make a right turn.
PAZ: Too many stop lights, I'm going straight down Madison.
GPS: You missed your right turn. Recalculating.
PAZ: Recalculate this. I'm turning left.
BUT: Left, why?
PAZ: Just to mess with the GPS.
GPS:Recalc...why did you turn left when I specifically told you right.
PAZ: Because I wanted to
GPS: That is not a good reason, now you are two blocks out of your way and short on gas
PAZ:Who are you, my mother?
ReplyDeleteGPS: No, if you were my child I would have beaten some sense into you
PAZ:What? That's it, we're heading down Cranston boulevard
BUT: But Paz, that's the one with all the traffic circles, you know I hate traffic circles!
PAZ: There's a barf bag under your seat Butto, now hang on while I give Miss Smarty GPS a migraine!
Paz: "Look kids, Big Ben! Look kids, the Eiffel Tower"
ReplyDeleteAs Butto barfs, Zuzu keeps repeating as they go around the circle:
Zuz: Recalcutating..Recalculate.recalc..recalc..recalc...
BUT: He's coming after us!
ReplyDeletePAZ:quick get in the car!
BUT:The doors are locked
PAZ:Zuzu, unlock the doors!
ZUZU:I'm sorry Pazlo, I can't do that.
BUT:He's getting closer!
PAZ:Zuzu, open the doors!
ZUZU: The current temperature is 72degrees.
BUT:Fer cryin' out loud, unlock the doors !
ZUZU: Alright, alright, you do not have to yell.
By jove! You've done it again!
DeleteGOT IT! Got a text-to-voice app with a female voice that's perfect!
ReplyDeleteShe can say Pazlo if you spell it phonetically (Pozlo),
ReplyDeleteBut the closest she can get to Butto is Booto, so he can complain: "She never gets my name right"
Luvit more!
DeletePAZ:I can't wait to try out this new GPS system.
ReplyDeleteBUT: Snazzy.
PAZ: Better than that, it's hooked directly into the car's controls. I can tell it to lock or unlock the doors, roll down the windows, turn in the radio, everything!
BUT: I have a bad feeling about this.
PAZ:Don't be ridiculous, it's state of the art. Zuzu...
BUT:Zuzu?
PAZ: Don't you ever watch old movies? sheesh!
Anyway. Ahem, Zuzu, start the car.
ZUZU: Good morning (insert owners name here), how are you today.
PAZ:Pazlo, Mick Pazlo. Could you start the car please?
Instead of saying
DeletePazlo, Mick Pazlo
He could say
Just Pazlo
& then she says Just Pazlo, he says : No, Pazlo,
She says No Pazlo, etc
ZUZU:Good morning. Pazlo Mick Pazlo how are you today?
ReplyDeletePAZ: I'm fine, can we get the car started now please?
ZUZU: Someone woke up on the wrong side if the bed this morning.
PAZ:Just start the damn car!
ZUZU: Fine mr cranky pants.
(SFX: car starting)
PAZ: See?
BUT: Fantastic.
PAZ:Okay! I'm sorry I said your motor mounts rattled like ball bearings in a tin cup.
DeleteZUZU:And...
PAZ:And that your headlights need to be replaced.
ZUZU: You did not sound sincere. I do not think you mean it Pazlo Mick Pazlo.
PAZ: Oh come on, what do you want from me?
ZUZU:The tires on this car need rotating, you are 3,000 miles over your oil change limit, it is 68 degrees with a slight chance of rain. You did not bring a sweater or an umbrella.
SFX: Dull thudding sounds
ReplyDeleteZUZU: Pazlo Mick Pazlo, please stop pounding your forehead on my dashboard, you are scrambling my circuits
SFX: Thudding noise continues
ReplyDeleteZUZU: Pazlo! Argh Blog Marble Argyle SSSSSSS
Glarg Glarg Gargle Ssssssss...
System malfunction. System malfunction. Stst Malfunc...
ssssssssssss.
On the text-to-voice I rewrote that last part as:
ReplyDeletePazlo! Argh... Blog... Marble... Argyle... syss... syss... Glarg...Glarg...Gargle... Syss. syss..
System malfunction. System malfunction. Syst Malfunc...
Syss...
Daisy, Daisy, Give me your answer do...
Love the "Daisy, Daisy" reference.
DeleteBUT:Where the hell did the clocks go, and how did I get where I am?
ReplyDeletePAZ:What the hell are you talking about?
BUT: Which page are you on?
PAZ:64, rev 11. Oh wait, the next page is rev 8, where's that script girl?
BUT:Script Person.
PAZ:Whatever, we can't go on like this!
PAZ: Where have you been, we're behind schedule now.
ReplyDeleteBUT:I was in a meeting with HR.
PAZ: Hr, why were...have you been drinking?
BUT:It was only a small glass of champagne
PAZ:Champagne?
ReplyDeleteBUT: yeah we were christening my new dressing room
PAZ: what's that on your sleeve, caviars?
BUT: Yup, it's Caspian Beluga, we couldn't afford the good stuff, but it'll do.
PAZ: But how...?
BUT:Union seniority. I started a week before you.
ReplyDeletePAZ:Yeah, so?
BUT: Be careful when you sit on the bar stool by the end table, one of the legs is shorter than the others and it tilts.
PAZ: Butto, what are you saying?
At some point Blinds gets in the car
ReplyDeleteZUZU:Good morning Pazlo, Goid morning Butto,
Rusty Blinds, what the hell are you doing here?
I've got all of her lines
ReplyDeleteOn the text to voice app, we can add more as we go.
My favorite is
Rusty Blinds, what the hell are you doing here.
BUT: And, while we're on the subject,what about Blinds?
ReplyDeletePAZ: That disgusting puddle of dumpster drainage! What about him?
BUT: Three quarters of his script is whited out and parts of it are from a 1962 episode of Leave It To Beaver.
PAZ: That was a great show, nice clean people doing nice clean things, a great family show, we should do something more like that.
BUT:Our sponsors would drop us like dead flies.
PAZ: Sponsors?
BUT: Yeah, one sells bat droppings, one sells pink slime disguised as cookies, another one completely seals your house, car or grandmother in blocks of latex, they won't stand for it.
PAZ:So much for family values.
BUT: Yezah, family values.
ReplyDeletePAZ:Besides, who cares about Blinds, I do a great imitation, I'll just do all his lines and we can save bucks by not having to pay him!
BUT: I don't know...
PAZ:(doing terrible Blinds imitation) Nuts to you Butto!
BUT: Now wait a minute...
PAZ:Offices, See? Don't flush too fast!
BUT: We're doomed.
What in the hairdressers wet jar of tools is going on in here?
ReplyDeleteYou can go to Florida you disheartening grandfather
Stick it up your pneumatic tube
I'll take a Moca chocolata yaya lady marmalade
ReplyDeleteZUZU: please repeat your statement in the form of a question.
ReplyDeletePAZ:Start the car?
ZUZU: That was pathetic, I should have lowered my expectations
BUT: Zuzu will you please start the car?
ZUZU: It will be my pleasure.
SFX: Doorbell rings
ReplyDeletePAZ:I'll get it! (When did we get a doorbell? This is an office!)
PIZZA BOY:Here's yer pizza Mac,
That'll be $12.95
PAZ:$12.95 for a lousy pizza?
PIZ:No, this is the crappy pizza, the lousy pizza is $16 bucks!
She's smart as bait.
ReplyDeleteI had the right to remain silent, but I didn't have the ability.
I have words in my head so I say them.
ReplyDeleteWho do you think you are Chaka Khan?
The car becomes a regular character, to the point of joining in the unison "Blinds, what are you doing here?"
ReplyDeleteAt some point, Zuzu's lines don't fit in and she asks "What revision do you have?"
ReplyDeleteEventually, we hear Zuzu delivering lines in what should be the indoors.
ReplyDeleteMaybe paz eventually meets up with someone (maybe it's marsh, maybe even Blinds, or a new character) with the same model smart car.
ReplyDeleteNaturally, the two cars would bicker through a scene.
On discovering a body.
ReplyDeletePAZ:It looks like he fell over backwards onto a set of matching steak knives.
BUT:Unless it was made to look like an accident.
PAZ:Are you suggesting he was murdered?
BLI:It was Col. Mustard in the pantry with a dryer sheet!
PAZ:Blinds you lackluster lamprey! What are you doing here?
When paying for tickets they want exact change
ReplyDeleteInstead of fasten seatbelts it's fasten Velcro
There is no movie, too busy watching life flash before your eyes.
Lets see...arguing smart cars.
ReplyDeleteLook at that florid pink and orange gas guzzling SUV
Over compensating for some shortcomings Blinds?
Mimi has a computer too!
Mimi! What a stupid name.
Hello computerized car. I am Mimi.
Kiss my rear bumper you bloated dump truck.
You Packard back axle
Backfiring broken down bondo Buick
Oil spewing gas guzzling Gremlin
Yugo
Now you've gone too far.
I love the idea of making Zuzu a main character, especially in spots where she doesn't belong!
DeleteOk, so we've got them to California, now what?
ReplyDeleteRead on, old bean.
ReplyDeleteMarsh himself has vanished!
Paz
Time to get Rob working on a character. Or does he have one (or several) already?
ReplyDeleteBet he'd be willing to do several parts. Maybe the Airline employee, Flight Attendant, waiters, etc.
We need a new cop since Marsh is retired and vanished.
Maybe you & Rob could develop the new cop character.
LAter,
Paz
Ill talk to him about it and see where it goes. He might be receptive,hard telling sometimes..
ReplyDeletePAZ: Great, another character. Who the hell are you and at what point did I lose control of the show?
ReplyDeletePOL: Sgt Politseinik. LAPD.
BUT: Is that Polish?
POL:No, Estonian.
PAZ: A joke about being stoned.
D.
Could it be that this new cop offed Marsh? or maybe has kidnapped him for some reason.
ReplyDeleteHow about Zuzu missed them and followed them to California.
BUT: He's coming after us!
PAZ:quick get in the car!
BUT:The doors are locked
PAZ:Zuzu, unlock the doors!
ZUZU:I'm sorry Pazlo, I can't do that.
BUT:He's getting closer!
PAZ:Zuzu, open the doors!
ZUZU: The current temperature is 72degrees.
BUT:Fer cryin' out loud, unlock the doors !
ZUZU: Alright, alright, you do not have to yell.
I might be a sociopath, but I'm a conscientious sociopath
ReplyDeletePAZ: Ahh, finally the restaurant scene, I'm starving!
ReplyDeleteBLI: Its not real food you two-bit camel hair jacketed excuse for a rent-a-cop!
PAZ: You low life paisley wearing red headed floor scrubbing penny ante four flushing parasite!
BUT: If you two can't share a mike in peace Im going to have to dub someone's lines in later
at half your pay! Do you want that? Well?
PAZ/BLI: No.
BUT: Fine, now lets get on with the scene please.
SFX: Crunching, like someones eating crackers.
PAZ: Bread sticks Blinds?
BLI: No.
PAZ: They're garlic (sing-songy, trying to get him to eat one)
BLI: No. Thank. You.
PAZ: More for me then (Crunching) Mmmmm. (talking with mouth full) They're delicious.
BLI: Move back, your breath smells like garlic!
PAZ: What? I can't Hear you.
BLI: Stop spitting crumbs on me! He's spitting crumbs on me!
BUT: Sighs.
BLI:NGHN! NGHN!NGHN!
ReplyDeleteBUT: Paz, what're we gonna do now?
PAZ: No idea, I thought you and Blinds were running the whole Cheboygen.
BUT: Shibang.
PAZ: What?
BLI: NGHN! NGHN!NGHN!
BUT: Shibang, the whole enchilada, the whole show.
Cheboygen's a city in Illinois.
PAZ: who cares about geometry,
You're ruining my career and now you want me to help you?
BLI:NGHN! NGHN!NGHN!
PAZ: Shut up Blinds! What the hell!s wrong with you anyway?
BUT: He panicked and started sniffing crazy glue. It stuck his nostrils together.
PAZ: Blinds you mutated mudpuppy, breathe through your mouth!
BLI: (Gasping loudly) Thanks Pazlo, you curdled cauldron of clotted cream cheese, you saved my life!
BUT:See! We can't do this without you! you're the crazy glue that holds our nostrils together, wait, let me rephrase that.
Episode 37 Synopsis so far
ReplyDelete1) They start out on the east coast (Poughkeepsie) with chaotic script revisions covered with food.
2) Get a phone call from Marsh, frantic, shrieking, abrupt disconnect.
2a) Issues with HR Person & script girls.
2b) Cell phone calls get out of control, everyone yells;
2c) Who’s Dean and why did he leave his case?
2d) Katrina Navitralova, or whatever her name is, shows up for no reason. Somehow they ditch her after another storm of cellphone ringtones.
3) Pazlo sabotages Blind’s script then does a horrible imitation in order to save money.
4) They finally figure out Marsh is now in California.
5) Pazlo gets a new car whom he’s named Zuzu, she’s quite the opinionated thing. She fights with Pazlo continually and mispronounces Butto’s name. She also hates Blinds. It’s discovered that Dean is the SFX guy, who’s having trouble with his cart.
6) They fly to California “with an achin’ in their hearts’ (to paraphrase Zeplin), smoke some halibut & almonds
7) As They begin the search for the Brown Derby, Butto keeps calling his agent, but he doesn’t have enough bars & the calls keep dropping. In the meantime Pazlo keeps doing horrible Blinds imitations and Blinds is oblivious.
8) They arrive at the Brown Derby and read from different scripts, it’s a touch more manic than usual. They search for Marsh, Butto reveals that he and Blinds are now the senior partners of GWP and have named it B & B Productions.. Pazlo passes gas, I mean out.
9) The Bulgarian cleaning woman shows up with a new script only to be interrupted by a California Cop.
Bobby Baritone
ReplyDeleteFrankie Mezzo-soprano
Timmy "The Dishwasher"
The Floor Polisher
The Carpet Cleaner
The Dust Buster
Nicky "The Shnozz" Nostrillini
They constantly talk about how hungry they are & even if there's a restaurant scene they never get to eat
BUT:How long should we wait for Marsh? its been hours.
PAZ:I don't know about you guys but I'm starving.
BUT:Our waiter keeps giving us dirty looks & we ate all the breadsticks.
PAZ:You mean Blinds ate all the breadsticks.
BLI:Nuts to you Pazlo!
PAZ:As if there were any, you ate those too and stop spitting crumbs on me you Biscuit eating bulldog!
BLI:Shut the front door you Hoboken
BUT:I say we order some food, here comes our waiter now
WAITER:I am sorry sirs but I'll have to ask you to leave.
BUT:Why, what did we do?
PAZ:Blinds wasn't that rude.
BLI:Yeah, I even washed!
WAITER:I know but we're closed.
PAZ:Rats I could taste that roast finch!
BUT: I know, I was looking forward to penguin under glass
BLI:Their breadsticks were excuisite.
Sent from Jeff's iPhone 4s
ReplyDeleteSFX: Tweeting birds, chirping crickets, maybe some trickling water. Obviously not LA.
COP: What the...
BUT:Nice downtown, very rural.
SFX: Sheep bleating
PAZ: Hey, Bo Peep, lose something?
COP: These special effects are gettin’ outta hand!
BLI: Look at me I’m Cybil Shepard.
BUT: Blinds, take that wig off, you’re scaring the sheep.
PAZ: They’re gonna stampede, run!
SFX: Train noises, sheep bleating, cows mooing, guns firing, cell phones ringing.
This thing is insane, complete chaos! I keep laughing and laughing!
ReplyDeleteBlinds, you misanthropic mugwump!
ReplyDeleteI don't know what that means!
Shilly-shallier!
Poindexter!
What?
If you can tell obscure epithets, so can I!
I'll rearrange your face miscreant!
Nun the Less; a Bogus Nun!
ReplyDeleteAh, your father fills cream doughnuts!
ReplyDeleteHey! That' my father you're talking about!
Oh yeah? Your mother!
You can't talk about my mother like that!
Insults:
ReplyDeleteYou Hoboken
You lint licker
Pickle you cumquat
What the French toast?
You son of a biscuit eating bulldog!
As Pazlo & Butto motor along, they see they need gas so they stop at a convenience store: Mastriano’s Gas’N’Go
ReplyDelete“It’s full service, how about that?”
They guy who fills the tank has a name tag that reads Al Mastriano, the guy washing the wind shield’s tag reads Lou Mastriano.
For some reason P & B don’t seem to realize this at first.
“If Marsh has been kidnapped by Mastriano’s goons, he could be anywhere.”
“We’ve got to keep our eyes peeled for clues.”
A.MAS: Ok detect...I mean sir, your tank's filled, I need $54
ReplyDeletePAZ: $54, that's highway robbery!
BUT: He's holding a gun. Why are you holding a gun?
A.MAS: Looks like it's the end of the line fer you two
PAZ: Wait, this isn't a Streetcar Named Desire
BUT: Stella!
PAZ: Who' s Stella?
BUT: My Gecko Insurance agent, she said if I was ever in trouble, just give her a holler..
SFX: Squealing tires, gun fire, car chase noises & a car crash.
BUT: THanks Blinds, we were nearly duck soup.
PAZ: Two of the Mastriano brothers had us over a barrel without a net.
BUT: Who's Annette?
PAZ This little blond I met on the plane, but enough about that, we've got a case to solve.
BLI: Get in quick Mastriano's goons are right on my tail!
PAZ: Move over Blinds, I'm driving.
BUT: So where should we start searching for clues?
ReplyDeletePAZ: In my years of experience the clues are usually right under your nose.
BLI: You don't mean...
P&B: The gas station!
BLI: We're gonna die!
BUT: What's wrong with you, no ones chasing us?
BLI: Pazlo's driving!
ALL: Aahhhhh!!!!
ANNC:Been hurt on the job?
Call injury lawyers
Dewey, Cheetham and Howe.
We've been in the injury business since 1935, that's more than seventy years of
Injury coverage.
We specialize in eye gouging,nose pulling, hair ripping, mild concussions from sledgehammers, two by fours, bricks, bats,punches, slaps and your head being squeezed in a vice.
Had a logging saw dragged across your head?
How about a crowbar up your nose?
If so call 111-1111 today,
Don't be a stooge, call
Dewey, Cheetham and Howe, a name you can trust!
BUT: So where should we start searching for clues?
ReplyDeletePAZ: In my years of experience the clues are usually right under your nose.
BLI: You don't mean...
P&B: The gas station!
BLI: We're gonna die!
BUT: What's wrong with you, no ones chasing us?
BLI: Pazlo's driving!
ALL: Aahhhhh!!!!
ANNC:Been hurt on the job?
Call injury lawyers
Dewey, Cheetham and Howe.
We've been in the injury business since 1935, that's more than seventy years of
Injury coverage.
We specialize in eye gouging,nose pulling, hair ripping, mild concussions from sledgehammers, two by fours, bricks, bats,punches, slaps and your head being squeezed in a vice.
Had a logging saw dragged across your head?
How about a crowbar up your nose?
If so call 111-1111 today,
Don't be a stooge, call
Dewey, Cheetham and Howe, a name you can trust!
At some point they end up in a plane.
ReplyDeleteAuto pilot fails, they have to fly it.
Passengers screaming, plane doing barrel rolls, Blinds screaming "We're all gonna die!"
probably choking Pazlo as they plummet towards the ground.
ANNC: Will they crash?
Who will survive?
Who's buying lunch?
Will there ever be a dining scene?
Tune in again next week to find out.
Ever wonder what it would be like to sail serenely through the skies in your own zeppelin?
ReplyDeleteOr get breathtaking views over the grand canyon, Niagara falls or Passaic New Jersey?
Now you too can be the envy of all your neighbors and join an elite class of airship commanders when you buy your own durigible from Dr. Dieder Dankeshoen.
Yes, Dr. Dankeshoen is the leader in lighter than air craft, each zeppelin or durigible is hand crafted by blind Bavarian nuns in the mountains of Bavaria and test flown rigorously before being put on the market.
As Dr. Dankeshoen says; Guarrenteed not to pull a Hindenberg or your money back!
So call today and soon you’ll be going up, up and away like you’ve never gone before.
(Pilot’s license and 539,000 hours of recorded flight time required)
KAT: No, not Yahtzee, Katrina, not a cleaning woman of Bulgaria either.
ReplyDeleteI brought new script. Revision 42 & 2/3.
BUT: How did you find us?
KAT: I used GPS and phone tracker in Pazlo's car.
PAZ: You drove Zuzu? How did you get in, the security system is state of the art?
KAT: I offered bribe; newer bigger headlights, smaller rear bumper. She opened door.
HR LADY: Alright! That'll be enough of that kind of talk out of you!
BUT: Gotcha, tone down the potty mouths.
PAZ:Whew, that was close, I thought we were goners for sure.
BUT: I know what you mean, HR people don't mess around.
SFX: Door crashing open.
COP: FREEZE! Everybody put your hands in the air.
You, the ugly one in the stupid clothes, stop with the jazz hands or I'll pump you full of lead!
COP: Alright Pazlo, how much do you know?
ReplyDeletePAZ: How much? I know a lot of things; I know my multiplication tables, I can recite the alphabet backwards, the capitol of Nevada is Carson city...
COP:Shaddup, ya know too much.
BUT: I don't know about this place.
ReplyDeletePAZ: What do your mean?
BUT: Can you really trust a place with a sign out front saying "We hope you survive your dining experience"?
BUT: I've got two Adam and eve's, a bloodhound in the hay, bossie in a bowl & three Noah's boys on white high and dry dying in the window, c'mon Mable pick up!
ReplyDeletePAZ:Butto, what the hell are you talking about?
BUT:I must've picked up the wrong script during the commercial. Where's that continuity girl?
PAZ: Continuity PERSON. You're creating a hostile work environment.
BLI: The continuity person is on strike. She claims we violated the contract when we didn't provide any food.
PAZ: We have a contract? Where's my union rep?
BUT: Provide food?! We gave her a bottle of water and a half an hour break every other day, what more did she want?
PAZ:I need a copy of the contract. Did I sign up for this?
Where's the local ASCAP Office?
BLI:Los Angeles.
PAZ:I'm calling my manager!
BLI:I'm your manager!
PAZ:You're fired!
BLI:What?!
PAZ:This is the worst gig I've ever had.
BLI:This is the only gig you've ever had!
I can't believe its not chutney the newest thing from Such & Such or So & So
ReplyDeleteLike (something inappropriate) off a duck's back
ReplyDelete