(Scene opens to sounds of a shoulder being repeatedly thrown against a door)
PAZ: Damn! The writers blocked the door! We can't get to the cafeteria.
BLI: Who can blame them after Wednesday's little episode?
BUT: It's probably just stuck, like the plot for our show.
PAZ: Whoa! Hey! Plots now? Aren't we getting a little fancy for a low-budget show?
BUT: Usually there's some kind of theme, some running subject that threads through an episode to shape a beginning, middle and end.
PAZ: Buncha baloney.
BLI: I thought the show just ended?
BUT: Whadya mean baloney? They do this all the time on TV.
PAZ: AHAH! See! That's where they get you!
BUT: Uh...what..what do you mean there?
PAZ: Like a show needs to have a beginning and end and stuff. They'll fill your head full of that and next thing you know the show's over.
BUT: Well, yeah, that's sorta the idea.
PAZ: E tu, Bhutto?
BUT: How long have you been waiting to use that gem?
BLI: Could you guys shut up and help me get this door open, I'm starving.
PAZ: You and your eating. It really needs to stop.
BLI: But if...
BUT: Here, Blinds (shuffling noise digging through lunch bag), here's a TommyKnocker Bar, a can of Red's Okra juice and half a penguin salad sandwich. That should hold you over to the next break.
BLI: (mouth filled, eating voraciously) Thank you! Thank you!
PAZ: Come on! You're spitting crumbs all over the table.
BUT: So, just curious, where's the rest of the cast?
PAZ: The cast? Hell, I got that thing off months ago. Just have to wear this brace at night.
BLI: He means the cast of the show you blithering old goat. Why don't you pay attention?
PAZ: So why is HE here then?
BUT: Well, aside from being one of the producers, he's also part of the cast.
PAZ: Last I knew, we were walking into a huge warehouse looking for Detective Marsh, with an Irish guy that kept wanting people to rip his liver out and pop out his eyeballs and stuff. Weird.
BUT: That was before our funding was cut. We need to re-work the script a little to pare it down.
BLI: (mouth full) Did you say pears?
PAZ: Re-work it? Pare it down to what extent?
BLI: Pears! I want the pears!
BUT: Please shut up, Blinds. We need to cut the script from the eleven-hundred eighty-six pages we now have down to about 30.
PAZ: That shouldn't be too difficult, just cut all the scenes where Blinds is eating.
BLI: (mouth full) I'll starve!
PAZ: Good.
BUT: You won't starve. This is only your day job, remember?
BLI: They never have food over at Sunbright...er...
PAZ: Sunbright Studios? When were you over there?
BUT: Traitor!
PAZ: Are they still looking for people, or...
BUT: PAZLO! How could you?
PAZ: Well, as long as these writers aren't coming up with anything here...
BUT: We need to hunker down and edit this script! We won't be done with this for weeks!
BLI: (mouth full) Leeks! I love leeks!
PAZ: The only leaks we have are in the studio roof. Stop spitting on me!
BLI: Why don't you stuff it, old timer.
PAZ: Pigeon-brain! I'll kill you for that.
(SFX: phone rings)
BLI: (mouth full) Hello? Mr.Thamalancham! How are you?
PAZ: Is this scene over yet? I need a drink.
BLI: (mouth full) Yes, I can be over by six. Great. See you then. (to BUT:): Six o'clock.
BUT: Yeah, okay.
PAZ: Six o'clock what?
BUT & BLI: NOTHING!
BUT: Er..nothing to concern yourself over..
PAZ: Wait, isn't Thamalancham over at Sunbright?
BLI: You remember Tom..he..
BUT: WELL! Look at the time! Geez, I gotta go feed my air ferns before I leave for home..
BLI: But what about our gig?
BUT: Giggles! Yes! We had some great giggles today, but it's time to wrap it up.
BLI: Wraps? I love wraps! What kind do you have?
PAZ: Wait a minute, something's smelling fishy here...
BUT: Probably Blinds.
BLI: Fish? I love fish? Where is it?
PAZ: Over there, through that door.
(steps, door opening, traffic/noise outside, door closes).
BUT: You know that's the fire exit, right, and we were just replacing the fire escape outside that door?
PAZ: Gee. Ya don't say. Got any more of those wraps?
BUT: I'll put the coffee on, it's going to be a long week.
(muffled voice from outside, chewing food: BLI: Coffee! I love coffee!
Roll credits.
DIRECTOR: Yeah, Mr.O'Connor, this is a radio show, you know. We don't roll credits.
Mr.O'Connor: Did you say rolls? I love rolls.
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